Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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