If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
