it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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