i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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