dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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