the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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