Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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