We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
