Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I haven't been this sober since birth.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
