careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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