i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
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I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
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