So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
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They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
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