I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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