I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Randomize
