Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Randomize
