dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
