Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
