We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
