Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
