Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
