I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize