Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
