I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
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When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
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At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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