It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
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We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
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The feeling are messing with the penis
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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