i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Randomize
