Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
