fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
