I puked a lego.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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