were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
