and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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