The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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