We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
