Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
