Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
