You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Randomize
