Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
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