i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
