wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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