I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
