if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
