I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
