She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I queefed so loud it echoed.
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There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
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I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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