omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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