It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
