They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
