It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
this will be a night to untag.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
