I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
