First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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