I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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