The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
