He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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