There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I just want to make out with him forever
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
