we're blogging at a bar
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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