Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Randomize
