So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize
