never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
