Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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