I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
