Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
