In the future we'll all be gay
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize