only if we run a train.
done.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
