that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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