I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
