i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I need to calm my uterus...
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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