u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize