she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
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