Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
